Existential Fear


Chisei Kono writes in his book about his experience while visiting refugee camps after the 2011 Earthquake and Tsunami, that there were people with muscle tension in a particular area, between the scapula and the spine (T5-8). It is a diagonal line of tension. While this line remains it is hard to sleep, and the fear does not leave. So he advises to relax it if you find it.

Since San Francisco is supposedly waiting for the next big one, I took notes, while also wondering if I’d ever see it.

I have actually seen it several times since then. It seems to appear when we have existential fear, not just from natural disasters. A particularly prominent line was on my friend’s back, who was at the time really worried if her job was going to be around for next year.

I found it on my own back several days ago. As those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know, I got my purse snatched on a San Francisco sidewalk. I wasn’t physically hurt, and the bag came back in about 24 hours (minus the cash and some other items) so the damage was minimal. But what it did was remind me of my vulnerability. The knowledge that I am basically helpless if someone decides to attack shook me. I was tense for days afterwards, and I found this line on my back maybe on the second day.

Taking care of myself is a bit harder than taking care of my clients. For one thing, this tension on my back, I cannot feel it while relaxing. Twisting and relaxing do not mix well. I don’t feel like I am sleeping badly any more probably because it’s already been almost a week, but I might as well go see someone for a good session. It’s much easier when there is help.

Notes & Reference

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